Home visit update

First, let me just say for laughs that when I first started typing this the blog was translating my typing into Hindi!!! It amused me greatly!

Last night the guardian ad litem came to our house for a home visit. Some people have asked what that is. Basically it's where they come to your home and ask a bunch of questions about you and your marriage and family and all kinds of things to see if you seem to be an acceptable home for a child.

Michael and I had been cleaning and straightening up the house for weeks. When both of you work full time AND are going to school the neatness of your home tends to fall by the wayside. The worst part was the desk and the table that sits behind the desk! I didn't realize I had accumulated so many books for my doctorate!

When she got here we sat in the living room and talked. At first it was formal stuff like names, birth dates, work information, etc. Then she started asking how we would discipline! That one was kinda tough. When you ask me that I fall into teacher mode. Fortunately, Michael remembered how friends told us they answered that (Thanks, Zack and Jenn!) and answered it well. She also asked us about our families and our relationships with them. She asked what we do for fun and about our church, since what we do for fun often revolves around church or people from church. The conversation turned into chatting about many things, including recent news stories. We learned some about her, too, which was nice.

One thing that came up was if we wanted more children. We told her about losing Micah and that while we were not actively pursuing pregnancy and don't feel led to use any fertility treatments, we would be thrilled to have children of our own. We also told her that we would love to adopt again one day but after giving this child time to become secure that he is loved and this is his home. She seemed fine with that and even joked that as soon as this adoption is final we will get pregnant!

A few things made us a little nervous. First, she brought up how, although it is VERY unlikely, this child's parents could come back and fight us for him if we try to adopt. This is not going to stop us from trying, but the idea made me sick to my stomach. Second, the guardian the child is currently with is threatening to put him in foster care even though he knows we are trying to get custody of him. That would give us a LOT more hoops to jump through. She asked if we would rather have him go to foster care or bring him here very soon. We said bring him here. She kept mentioning that if we let him go to foster care we could get a lot of government assistance. We told her we didn't care about that. We want to know he is safe. We don't want any government assistance. We just want him.

After two hours, Michael said he wanted to show her the room we have set up for the child. She commented that we need more toys. Michael told her how the bedroom was done in Superman while the bathroom was being done in Notre Dame colors. That started a football conversation! She jokingly said she might reconsider approving us since Michael was a Notre Dame fan!!! As she left she said that although it felt like we were chatting, that is the best way she can truly get to know us. Then she said the words we were hoping for: "I feel good about this!!!" We were over the moon!

The guardian ad litem is meeting with the child's guardian on Monday. She is going to tell him how she felt about our meeting and ask him some of the questions we had. She is also going to suggest that he start allowing us to spend some time with the child away from the school. She is going to try to get us a dinner date with him on Wednesday night and maybe some time next Saturday. She also made other suggestions about transitioning him smoothly into our home. She is also going to arrange for some therapy for the child to help with some of the things he has been through. Now we wait for the guardian's response.

We walked her out and showed her our yard (she had asked). Then Michael and I came in and just sat. We had been so stressed that it was a huge relief! It's insane to sit with someone who could keep you from getting a child!

Thank you for all of your prayers for us as we jumped this huge hurdle. Please keep us and this child in your prayers as there are many more hurdles!

Reflecting

In watching the news stories about the new president, I happened to see a story about where the country was when President Bush first took office. That made me think about where I was when Bush took office in January 2001.

I was a teaching third grade. It was my first year teaching. I was still figuring out the teaching thing. Well, I'm still figuring that out. So, that's not so different. Anyway, I was unmarried, living in a small apartment that I loved with three finches. I was driving a 1991 Mercury Grand Marquis that I think I still owe my father for. (Sorry Dad. I'm working on that.)

Now, we have just inaugurated a new president and I am again taking stock of where I am. I am very VERY happily married, hoping to have a 6 year old son in my home in the next few weeks, babying my two cats and dog. I am teaching ESOL at an elementary school. I am still working on getting my finances in order, but we have made amazing strides. I have a wonderful family and in-laws. I have two gorgeous nieces and two wonderful nephews. We have a new niece or nephew on the way. I am finished with my master's degree and working on my doctorate. Michael is back in school doing amazingly well and is happy with what he is doing. He will finish his certificate program this summer. We have found the church God has called us to at this point, and although it is having some struggles, we are excited about what God has in store for that family. Thanks to facebook and myspace we are reconnected with old friends and family who live far away. I have two of my mom's brothers nearby and very active in my life, which makes her seem closer. We have lost a son, but we are blessed to have experienced pregnancy once in our life so far.

Overall, my life is very blessed and satisfying. I was just feeling the need to take stock of my life. I am very pleased with where I am and how far I have come.

While I'm Waiting

Aletheia and I are in DESPERATE need of your prayers right now. Satan is attacking us from every side right now. He is attacking us with doubt, confusion, and fear. We are seeing the obstacles before us and it is hard to see just how He can turn this into an opportunity. We are looking at the daunting task of taking on a 6 year old child and we have no idea how we are going to pay for the initial costs. We want to provide for him, but our budget for February is short. We can't make our budget for just the 2 of us right now. (Please don't start writing me and telling me that we shouldn't be doing this. The only reason that we are having problems with February is because of when pay checks come. Mine won't come until the end of February.) Satan is really attacking me and filling my head full of doubt that God will provide, confusion as to what to do, and fear that we aren't making the right decisions.

Of course, even as I sit here typing this up I am reminded of Scripture. II Timothy 1:7 says, "For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline." Also James 1:5ff says, "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."
God has also brought to mind another scripture, Isaiah 40:31 says, "but those that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength, they will mount up on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not faint." As I type those words I am reminded of a song that has come to hold significant meaning to me lately. The song "While I'm Waiting" by John Waller has become the cry of my heart lately. It can stand for any thing that we are waiting on God to do, but right now, for me, it means while I am waiting on Him to bring this precious boy into our home. The lyrics are as follows:

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am hopeful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting

I will serve you

While I'm waiting

I will worship

While I'm waiting

I will not faint

I'll be running the race

Even while I wait

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am peaceful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though its not easy

But faithfully, I will wait

Yes, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve you
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

This song has come be a constant reminder of quite a few things for me lately. Though I am waiting on God, that in no way should suggest that I am idle. It also reminds me that I am to continue being obedient to the things He has told me to do in the meantime. Most importantly, I continue to worship Him while I am waiting because if I can't worship God in the bad times, then my worship in the good times is worthless to Him.

Tonight as Aletheia and I were praying I was reminded of a miracle that Christ performed. Jesus in this miracle took a measly 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish and fed somewhere in the neighborhood of 25,000 people. (Matthew says 5,000 men plus women and children. Theirs was an agricultural society so they had larger families.) So, I am praying that God will take our "five loaves and 2 fish" and multiply it. I am not even asking that He multiply it enough to feed 25,000. I just want to make sure we can properly care for and provide for this 6 year old little boy.

Won't you please join us in praying that God will give us wisdom to know what is required of us, power and strength to withstand Satan's attacks, willingness to continue being obedient, courage to worship when times aren't good, and the ability and faith to wait on Him and His timing?

Missing Micah

One year ago today we found out we were pregnant with our son, Micah. Six weeks later we miscarried. I never understood the ability to love someone you had never met or even had a conversation with so intensely. He was a spot on an ultrasound, a heartbeat and a LOT of nausea, but he was our son. He was so loved. He was so wanted. I frequently dream about him with my mother in heaven. I am jealous of each of them. The two people I miss the most get to be together.

Mom and Dad love you, Micah.

Happy birthday, Daddy

Wow! I seem to be really good at doing these birthday things a day late. Yesterday was my beloved Dad's birthday. We got together with family on Saturday to have a surprise party for him. It was wonderful!

I never truly appreciated my father until I became an adult myself. Now I realize just how much he sacrificed for us and how much he truly loved us.

When I met Michael in 1996, I wouldn't date him because he reminded me so much of my father. I knew that if I dated him, I would marry him. Now, I am so grateful for all the ways he is like my dad. I know he is going to be a fantastic father, just like mine has been. I can't wait to see him continue to develop into an amazing man, just like my dad.

I love you, Daddy! Here's to many more birthdays!

Looks like I get the pleasure of doing the update tonight because Aletheia is sick. Please pray for her. She has just been really exhausted the last 3 nights.

Yesterday, I got a really nice treat. I didn't have to work yesterday, so after I ate lunch, I went over to Aletheia's school around 2:30pm. The boy that we are trying to adopt was in the After School Program yesterday, so Aletheia set it up so that I could spend some time with him. I spent about an hour helping him with his homework. Then we played for about 45 minutes. It was so much fun to spend time getting to know him. I had seen him a couple of times in passing, but this was the first time I really got to spend any time with him. I have found one flaw that I will have work out of him. He thinks he is a UGA fan. Of course, he is young so there is still hope for him. I am sure that I can indoctrinate him. I will help him see that he is really a Notre Dame fan. There of course is no team above Notre Dame in this house, so I am sure he will learn to love Notre Dame as much as I do.

On another note, Aletheia got a phone call today from the guardian ad litem. She wants to have a home visit on January 30th. We are kind of relieved. This gives us a little more time to get his room prepared for him. We went out this past weekend and bought him Superman sheets for his bed. I really want my dad to make him something for his room, but I am just not sure what. He already has a dresser and a toy box. My dad is a great carpenter, so if anyone has any ideas please let me know. I really want him to have something personal and meaningful in his room.

Thanks again for all the prayers. Keep them coming because the adventure is just getting started.

More crazy timing

This morning I saw the child in a whole new light! He came in smiling and with his shirt on backwards!!! He gave me a big smile! However, the smile was nothing unusual, so hopefully that means that his guardian hasn't said anything to him.

I also got to talk to his homeroom teacher. She also said that he is working well considering the situation. She feels he will do better with support and stability.

On my lunch break I was planning to call the guardian and talk with him. I decided to go get some lunch first. As I headed through the office of my school, there stood the guardian ad litem! I got to talk to her for about 30 minutes. Michael just happened to walk into my office during this time. He got to meet her also. She is going to schedule a time to come for a home visit soon. We wait on her to call now.

Michael and I went by one of his classes to see the child. When he saw me he gave me a big hug! Yeah, my heart is already his!

This afternoon, I was in the office again and ran into the child's guardian! He seemed very nice and truly seems to care about the child. He wants what's best and doesn't want him hurt again by another family deciding they don't want him. In our opinion, once he is in our home, that is not an option.

By the way, when the child saw me this afternoon, he walked up to me and asked why I had been talking to his teacher. I asked how he knew I was talking about him. He put his hands on his hips and said "I just know!" I told him I was hearing about all of his hard work this year and was that ok with him. "I guess!"

Now, we wait for the call about the home visit! And sorry about the lack of names. I will tell you his name as soon as I feel I can!

When God works....

WOW does he work!!!

Tuesday night, after making my post, I looked at Michael and said, "For us to get a child anytime soon someone is going to have to walk up to us and say 'Please take this kid!'" Well, the next morning I was at bus duty at school and one of my assistant principals walked up to me and a co-worker. As we were talking one of our first graders came by and greeted us. The conversation switched to the child and his less than desirable home situation. My assistant principal looked at me and said, "Hey, he's up for adoption!" I just stared. Did God just use my own words to give me a message less than 12 hours later?

I spent the rest of the day gathering more information on the child. I talked with Michael. We decided to look into the situation.

Today I went to that same assistant principal and told him we would be interested in looking into adopting the boy. He referred me to our other assistant principal who handles first grade. Within ten minutes I was sitting with the school social worker, this assistant principal and our school counselor. Everyone was very supportive, telling me how we would be so good for him. The social worker got on the phone with the court's guardian ad litem ............. bottom line, by the end of the day the school counselor was on the phone with the person who currently has custody of the child. He is interested in talking to us and will give permission for us to take the next step in personally talking with himself and the guardian ad litem.

While this is going crazy fast, we are both thrilled and scared. The little boy is six and is doing very well considering his crazy home life. We are over the moon at the idea of him becoming part of our family.

Please pray for us as we continue on this roller coaster ride! Tomorrow I am to call his current guardian and get some more information. Also, please pray for him that even if he is not meant to be with us, that he gets his forever family soon.

Holding on to Faith

I have spent quite a bit of time over the last few days thinking about the year just gone by. I hope this doesn't offend anyone, but for me last year was a dismal year in so many ways. (Don't get me wrong, there were certainly some good moments, but, in my opinion, overall it was dismal.) So many things just seem to go wrong for me. I lost my job, and struggled to find a new one. Put up with a horrible part time job where my hours were constantly being cut. The pastor of our church left and then right around Christmas we find out that the youth pastor is leaving too. The church and family that I love so much is so far in debt right now that we may never recover. It certainly doesn't help when the year started off badly by us losing the baby that we were over joyed to have been blessed with.
Thankfully, 2008 is nothing but a memory now. That is beauty of a New year. I get a fresh start. David said in Psalm, "Your mercies are new every morning." For those of us that are blessed to have a relationship with Christ, we get a brand new start to each day. I can shrug off all the bad things that happened last year and start fresh this year. So, as I turn from looking at the despair of 2008, to the promises of a brighter future in 2009, I do so with faith.
Over the last couple of weeks I have come across verses filled with promises of a family. If I have learned little else in my life, I have learned that God is ALWAYS faithful to fulfill the promises that He makes to His children. This is one thing that I learned through experience. He has NEVER let me down in the past, and I know that isn't going to change this year.
Christ says to me from Scripture that if I have the faith of a mustard seed, I can tell this mountain to move into the ocean and it will happen. I don't have the desire to move any physical mountains, but I sure do have the desire to move the mountains that I see getting in the way of our having the family we have been promised. So, this year I am holding onto faith desperately with everything I have in me, and I will be about the business of moving mountains this year.
I ask that you join with us this year as we pray. We will not only be praying for the adoption each step of the way, but we are also praying for the children God has blessed us with. I am of the firm belief that it is never too early to start praying for your children. For those of you that will commit to praying with us and for us, I can promise you that God will bless you as well. On the day that we bring those kids home, you will know that you had a major role in what God has accomplished in our lives because of your prayers. Your prayers mean more to us than anything else.

Thank you,
Michael Leavitt

Holding on to hope

Today we were finally able to talk to the lady in charge of adoption at our local county DFCS. She told us that their focus is restoring families and don't adopt out children from foster care within the age range we would like. Most are high school age. However, she did give us names of a few local adoption agencies to look into. She is also trying to set up a meeting for us with a representative from one of those agencies.

While I am disappointed that there is another road block in our way, I do appreciate their focus on trying to save families.

So, now we look into these agencies and wait to hear back from her about the meeting I guess.

I'm pretty disheartened right now. I am feeling like Michael and I may never have children of our own. I am just clinging to the hope from Psalm 113.