Home visit update

First, let me just say for laughs that when I first started typing this the blog was translating my typing into Hindi!!! It amused me greatly!

Last night the guardian ad litem came to our house for a home visit. Some people have asked what that is. Basically it's where they come to your home and ask a bunch of questions about you and your marriage and family and all kinds of things to see if you seem to be an acceptable home for a child.

Michael and I had been cleaning and straightening up the house for weeks. When both of you work full time AND are going to school the neatness of your home tends to fall by the wayside. The worst part was the desk and the table that sits behind the desk! I didn't realize I had accumulated so many books for my doctorate!

When she got here we sat in the living room and talked. At first it was formal stuff like names, birth dates, work information, etc. Then she started asking how we would discipline! That one was kinda tough. When you ask me that I fall into teacher mode. Fortunately, Michael remembered how friends told us they answered that (Thanks, Zack and Jenn!) and answered it well. She also asked us about our families and our relationships with them. She asked what we do for fun and about our church, since what we do for fun often revolves around church or people from church. The conversation turned into chatting about many things, including recent news stories. We learned some about her, too, which was nice.

One thing that came up was if we wanted more children. We told her about losing Micah and that while we were not actively pursuing pregnancy and don't feel led to use any fertility treatments, we would be thrilled to have children of our own. We also told her that we would love to adopt again one day but after giving this child time to become secure that he is loved and this is his home. She seemed fine with that and even joked that as soon as this adoption is final we will get pregnant!

A few things made us a little nervous. First, she brought up how, although it is VERY unlikely, this child's parents could come back and fight us for him if we try to adopt. This is not going to stop us from trying, but the idea made me sick to my stomach. Second, the guardian the child is currently with is threatening to put him in foster care even though he knows we are trying to get custody of him. That would give us a LOT more hoops to jump through. She asked if we would rather have him go to foster care or bring him here very soon. We said bring him here. She kept mentioning that if we let him go to foster care we could get a lot of government assistance. We told her we didn't care about that. We want to know he is safe. We don't want any government assistance. We just want him.

After two hours, Michael said he wanted to show her the room we have set up for the child. She commented that we need more toys. Michael told her how the bedroom was done in Superman while the bathroom was being done in Notre Dame colors. That started a football conversation! She jokingly said she might reconsider approving us since Michael was a Notre Dame fan!!! As she left she said that although it felt like we were chatting, that is the best way she can truly get to know us. Then she said the words we were hoping for: "I feel good about this!!!" We were over the moon!

The guardian ad litem is meeting with the child's guardian on Monday. She is going to tell him how she felt about our meeting and ask him some of the questions we had. She is also going to suggest that he start allowing us to spend some time with the child away from the school. She is going to try to get us a dinner date with him on Wednesday night and maybe some time next Saturday. She also made other suggestions about transitioning him smoothly into our home. She is also going to arrange for some therapy for the child to help with some of the things he has been through. Now we wait for the guardian's response.

We walked her out and showed her our yard (she had asked). Then Michael and I came in and just sat. We had been so stressed that it was a huge relief! It's insane to sit with someone who could keep you from getting a child!

Thank you for all of your prayers for us as we jumped this huge hurdle. Please keep us and this child in your prayers as there are many more hurdles!